by Eugenia Ng
I am the cicada[i]
singing summer songs and hallelujah[ii]We swarm your gardens,
we chirp passionate in love-making[iii]
Our bodies are built for the heat,
our songs we sing for the living[iv]
But after sweltering heat the frost must follow
We’ll fall out of the trees, and soundlessly go
For I am just a cicada我冇嘢講
I am the child
waiting for news on the typhoon signal
Outside it wages black and amber rain[v]Inside there’s a tempest at the dinner table
The patriarch spits vitriolic of the “kids these days”
The aunts and mothers nod sneering and sympathetic
And I, I keep a piece of white ribbon[vi] hidden in a tight grip
Behind my back the safety pin cuts an imprint into my fist
For I am just a child
我冇嘢講
I am the servant of a machine[vii]
10 days I lie in wait[viii] for the cyclone to pass,
to travel up north, to lose strength and dissipate
No more yielding but a dream,[ix]
when the spoilt children[x] fall to sleepwalking[xi] againAnd on the 11th day I shall read from the same script
New and original speech stuck behind a mouthful of champagne
For I am just a servant of the machine
我冇嘢講
But there is a kind of silence we choose
To remember, to defend, and to seek truth
Tonight I am the congregation at Edinburgh and Pacific[xii]
2 minutes we stood in silence for the ones who passed
I am the journalists who took the baton
choking back tears to let the cameras speak[xiii]
I am the young man arrested without a warrant
ceded my personal freedom but not our rights我冇嘢講
我冇嘢講
我要見律師
我冇嘢講
Author’s Notes:
“我冇嘢講” in the title of this poem: “I am not saying anything / I have nothing to say”
[i] Cicadas: there is a phrase in Chinese, the “cicadas in winter effect” (寒蟬效應), which is equivalent of the term, “chilling effect” – the phenomenon where subtle legal threats and other fearmongering methods are employed to discourage and inhibit individuals from exercising their natural and legal rights, e.g. filing libel lawsuits to stifle free speech, or stopping and searching any young person wearing a surgical mask or wearing black to discourage student protesters from coming out.
[ii] Singing hallelujah: religious protesters sang “Sing Hallelujah to the Lord” at every peaceful gathering, which were often led / overseen by a pastor.
[iii] “Chirp passionate in love-making”: on 15 July, the late Mr. Leung scaled the façade of Pacific Place to display the (then) four demands of the protesters on large banners. One of the slogans displayed read, “Make love, no shoot”.
[iv] The living: ahead of the 1 July protests, renowned Canto-pop lyricist Lin Xi (林夕) published a piece titled, “鬥長命”. Lin refers to the protesters and political allies that are critical of the government, who are still capable of conscious thought and action, as human beings that are still alive and living.
[v] Amber and black rain: the Hong Kong Observatory’s warning system for heavy rainfall exists on a scale from “amber rain” (for the mildest rainstorms) to “black rain” (for the heaviest and most dangerous rainstorms). Black and yellow are also the colours of some of the warning flags that the police use to help disperse rallies. Lastly, these are also the colours of the protesters: the colour yellow is a leftover symbol from the Umbrella Movement 2014, and black is the colour of the black bloc and their allies for the current Anti-Extradition protests.
[vi] White ribbon: in the beginning, white was the thematic colour of the protesters. During June, some supporters also wore a piece of white ribbon on the lapel to show solidarity.
[vii] “I am the servant”: HK’s top government officials technically work as part of the civil servant workforce.
[viii] 10 days: from 19 June to 30 June, Chief Executive Carrie Lam did not make any public appearances, only reappearing on 1 July in time for the Handover Anniversary celebrations.
[ix] “No more yielding but a dream”: a direct quote from Puck’s closing monologue in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. On the internet, protesters have taken to prefacing exchanges of opinions, ideas, and intel with the disclaimer that they witnessed it “in a dream”, or that it’s something they envision happening in the future “in a dream” – basically dressing up their discussions in hypotheticals and conjectures to shield themselves from criminal allegations. On one level, the reference to A Midsummer Night’s Dream is a nod to the protester’s lexicon. But on another level, when you think about it, scarier still is the prospect that one day we might all “wake up” from this crisis, just like the characters in A Midsummer Night’s Dream wake up from their predicament, with the event erased out of the collective consciousness, as if it was all really just a dream, as if none of this had ever happened at all.
[x] Spoilt children: in her first statement after the 12 June clash, CE Carrie Lam described herself as a stern “mother”, and described the protesters as behaving like “spoilt children”.
[xi] Sleepwalking: also a reference to Lin Xi’s piece, “鬥長命”. Lin contrasts the “alive” protesters and political allies with the government officials, who he likens to the walking dead for appearing incapable of empathy and critical thinking. “Sleepwalking” is another state of being where one walks without conscious thought.
[xii] “Edinburgh and Pacific”: after Mr. Leung fell to his death, Hongkongers gathered at the site outside Pacific Place to pay respect. Other vigils have been held in Edinburgh Place for the subsequent political suicides.
[xiii] “Choking back tears”: batons aside, the journalists reporting from the frontline on 12 June also suffered from tear gas and pepper spray. In another memorable moment, filmed on the night the protesters stormed the Legislative Council, a Stand News journalist is moved to tears when interviewing the teenaged protesters that ran back inside the LegCo to drag their compatriots out after the police issued their ultimatum.
Eugenia Ng is a self-described storyteller from Hong Kong. She studied in the Warwick Writing Programme at the University of Warwick, where she discovered her love for modern poetry and short-form prose. She is now based in her hometown and continues to tell stories, with a focus on ethnic and gendered experiences. Her most recent outing was at the Hong Kong Stories monthly live-show. “Silence (我冇嘢講)” is her first poetry publication, and with it, she hopes to bring her take on relationships between individuals and institutions into a broader conversation.