by Andre Magpantay
her make-up on, donned
bright red lipstick
and dark eyeshadow.
She went live online,
stood in front of
a strong white light
illuminating her body.
It was her dream
to wear long beautiful
dresses, posed like a model
for everyone to see.
In just an hour
she lived that dream
and wore a hundred dresses
to an audience of ten.
“Pipti,” she shouted,
“just type ‘Mine’”.
Everything was cheap
for it was all discarded.
Finally, she sold
just one dress
for a sum enough to feed
her family of eight.
For once,
she felt beautiful
and asked “What did I do
to become a fashion model?”
Andre Magpantay: Resilience is both an Asian and Filipino characteristic, arguably embedded in our own cultures and in individuals. It is a characteristic that was called upon during the Covid-19 pandemic, when jobs were lost and families strived to find ways to sustain themselves. I wrote “To Become a Fashion Model” to reflect on the struggle of a mother during the pandemic, casting light on the practice of ukay-ukay, reselling on the cheap used and discarded clothes, which had now migrated online. I juxtaposed this with the mother’s deferred dream of becoming a fashion model.
The story’s strength lies in the reaction it solicits from the reader, as well as its capacity to reflect current social conditions. The use of Philippine English words during a live sale is also emphasised in the poem—words such as pipti, a Filipino variant of the number fifty, and mine, a word to reserve an item online, which has gained currency in recent times.
The poem begins with the narrative persona preparing herself to appear live and revealing her dream of becoming a fashion model. In the first half of the poem, she feels confident living that dream wearing clothes on camera, reminiscent of a fashion show or shoot. In the second half, numbers are used to reflect the reality of the sale, such as trying on a hundred dresses in front of an audience of only ten people; fifty (pesos), equivalent to US$1, to reflect the cheap price of each dress, with the sale of one being just enough to feed her family of eight. By the end, the persona feels a tinge of bittersweet joy behind the front of confidence she displays when she sells a dress and she asks herself: what did I do to become a fashion model?
The poem is a tribute to the resilience of our people and the sense of responsibility and love for family while also being a critique of the prevailing socio-political conditions which leave people to suffer in the guise of romanticising resilience itself.
Published: Sunday 14 November 2021[RETURN TO AUDITORY CORTEX 2021]
Andre Magpantay is a student of Art Studies at the University of the Philippines Diliman. He also studies and researches East Asian culture, religion, and languages. He writes literary and critical pieces and creates visual works using photography and new media. His works appear in Agos, Novice, Argument, and TWC. His latest collection is Salvaging the Mundane, which tackles the artist’s response during the pandemic. You can reach him and follow his work on Twitter: @dredredreeee and Instagram: @real_ndr.