by Thushara Reddy
the trail of a bride’s veil—
quiet, inevitable.
I say shush!
Don’t interfere
with my bread and butter.
But perhaps I need to allow it to exist,
alle?
On the paper
and in the mind,
without the italics,
this lifeblood of my emotions—
the very heart of my sustenance—
this throbbing language of mine.
Come walk with me into her warm embrace, born
of the magic
of normal text.
Thushara Reddy: I speak this way, instinctively appending “alle?”—which translates as “no?”—to the end of sentences, regardless of whether the person I’m conversing with understands Malayalam. I am unable to stop myself.
My ancestors hail from Nellore in the state of Andhra Pradesh in India and they migrated to Tamil Nadu before my great-grandfather settled down where I grew up—Kerala, a small state at the southern tip of India.
I went to a wonderful school there, where, through teachers and friends alike, I fell in love with English. While I spoke Malayalam and was exposed to Tamil and Telugu at home, I also read quite voraciously in English during my school years.
Today, while at least some quick thinking and heuristics happen in Malayalam for me, I do slow thinking in English. I articulate emotions best in English. Therefore, I write poems in the language. But even emotions, I now realise, come to me in a mix of Malayalam and English—shame in Malayalam, anger in English, and so on.
English, too, is not a foreign body to me.
The poem “Malayalam is Not a Foreign Body”, published here, was inspired by poet Pervin Saket’s words, “Italicisation is a deeply political act… the question of what you are othering when you are an Indian writing for an Indian audience and italicising “jalebi” but not “croissant”.
Published: Wednesday 8 September 2021[RETURN TO AUDITORY CORTEX 2021]
Thushara Reddy (b. 1987) is a poet from southern India. She was raised at the confluence of five languages—Malayalam, English, Tamil, Hindi, and Telugu. Her relationship with words and music is one that has always been drenched in love that is sometimes fierce, sometimes gentle. She has been writing poetry sporadically since 1997 and more consciously since 2019. Her work has found a place in Isolocation, a collection of poems focused on the lockdown experience. Reddy hopes to empower readers through the strength one finds in shared experience. She identifies as a human being.